Wedding Faux Pas

…times 2, or was it times 3, or 4, or too high to count?

With several of the “next generation” celebrating Four-Year Wedding Anniversaries this year (B&D, S&M, M&K), I can’t help but reminisce about my wedding 35 years ago! Be forewarned – this has turned into another of my wordy, long posts!

As I look back, it seems our marriage started with several incidents that are so “goofy/weird/strange” they seem like fiction. But the moral of the story is: Be prepared for anything (not that you have a plan to deal with it, just know it might happen) and just go with the flow and deal with it.

The day before our wedding (Wednesday)… maybe I need to back up and say how we determined our wedding date. Two things were major factors: Darby’s pastor’s vacation and our honeymoon plans!

First, we did NOT want Father O’Brien to be the celebrant at our wedding. So, we knew when he had planned his “vacation” and we knew we wanted Father Ray Fisher (a family friend) who was at a different parish. But that added another glitch - since our pastor wasn’t available we had to get special permission from the bishop to have clergy outside our parish there. OK, we jump through the hoops and get permission. BUT, we still have to go through the pre-marriage sessions with Father O’Brien (that’s probably another blog sometime). Then we have to get another “permission” – heaven forbid that I’m marrying a “NON-CATHOLIC”! Obviously, we “played the game” and “qualified”!

Second, we wanted to go to Aruba for our honeymoon, but of course wanted the best possible deal (you all know we’ve always been frugal). After several possibilities Atlas Travel determined an early morning flight out of Toledo on Friday, April 19, 1974 was the optimum departure time for our honeymoon (based on the dates of Father O’s vacation). Book it!

Oh, I almost forgot! Since my mom and dad got married in Darby’s chapel, we also wanted to get married there – especially since we were planning such a small wedding (only 17 people including Father Ray)! We still had to make all arrangements through Father O’Brien since it was “his” church. Can you guess his response – you got it – there was no way he would give us permission to get married in the chapel, it had to be in the church proper! If you’ve seen our “wedding pictures” you know we did get married in the chapel – thanks to Father Ray whose attitude was “what O’Brien doesn’t know, we won’t tell him”.

OK, back to the day before our wedding! Our honeymoon to Aruba (which determined our actual wedding date to be a Thursday) was cancelled! While at work on Wednesday I received a phone call from the travel agent telling me she had “bad news and good news”. What?! Apparently there was “civil unrest” in Aruba causing all airports to be CLOSED, as well as most resorts’ employees ON STRIKE! There was no way were we going to Aruba for our honeymoon on Friday! We had to make a quick decision: Jamaica or Nassau? After a quick phone call to D, we decided to go with Nassau. OK, not what we planned, but OK. We would be staying at an old sugar cane plantation (doesn’t’ that sound like something with history that D might like?).

Fast forward to Thursday, our wedding day! After work (yes, we both worked the entire day of our wedding) we each went home to get ready for the 7-pm celebration. I’m not sure about everything that went on at the Colburn Street house, but the South Avenue house was CRAZY. Can’t you just see my dad alternating between tears and laughing, and all the while “primping”? It always took him longer to get ready than any of us girls!

The house was ready for the “reception”, but everything somehow ended up shoved in the kitchen, including Daddy’s 35mm camera. And where was that camera - the camera he was planning on recording his oldest daughter’s wedding? In the bottom of a bucket of mop water! – That’s right, somehow after the kitchen floor had been mopped, the camera got knocked off the kitchen table and into the bucket of nasty water. That camera was the primary mode of photography for the upcoming ceremony (you didn’t really think we would “hire” a photographer, did you?)! Now what? A quick call to the groom, of course. No problem, D would give his camera to his brother-in-law/best man who would now be “wedding photographer” as well.

Who said the bride and groom shouldn’t see each other right before the wedding? D walked over to my house to pick me up so we could ride together to church As we were walking across the alley (you all did know we were “back door” neighbors, right?) one of his friends is driving down and asks, “What are you guys doing tonight?” Can you imagine his shocked expressions as D replied, “We’re getting married!”

Oh, and as far as the groom seeing the bride’s dress – forget it! Dave even helped me pick out the material for both my dress and his suit (yes, I made his wedding suit)! And, I set up shop in his utility room in the basement so I had plenty of room to spread out the materials and work on it without having to put it away. Was it white? Was it traditional? Of course, not! It was practical and beautiful (in my opinion)! I wanted something we could both wear in the future. And we really did wear those outfits again – out to dinner during our honeymoon as well as to weddings of some of my sorority sisters over the next several years. Did I mention my dress and his suit was POLYESTER?! Is that classic 70’s or what?

Are you tired/bored reading this yet? Tough – there’s more!

All 17 of us are in the chapel and the “ceremony” is intimate and spontaneous (you knew there was no way we had a rehearsal, right?). We sang together (no musical accompaniment) and laughed together, and said our vows.
Then, it was time for the “first kiss” – well, in our case, I think it should be called the “third kiss”. After Father Ray said, “You may kiss the bride”, there was a slight pause. Imagine my surprise as I’m in the arms of the BEST MAN and HE’s KISSING me. What? But it gets better! Immediately after that I realized I’m being kissed by Father Ray! Where’s my husband? He finally stepped up to the plate – third in line. Just saving the best for last!

The reception at mom and dad’s house seemed to be going without a hitch. R (the best man) was catching it all on D’s camera -- Z’s food was delicious and plentiful, the Wixey’s cake was beautiful (and not smashed into faces), Father Ray’s “mouse” trick was well-received, the opening of gifts was seemingly unending.
At one point very late in the festivities D asked the best man how many rolls of film he had used, or if he needed another roll. Wait for it …
What? I don’t know, I guess I’m still on the first roll.
No way, let me have it! THERE’S NO FILM IN THIS CAMERA!

Thanks to Uncle J and Aunt C’s Kodak Instamatic we did end up with a few acceptable wedding photos. Who needs those stinking photos anyhow? An album? We just have great (and humorous) memories, no gorgeous, expensive wedding album!

Is this the end of a “strange” wedding? Not quite!

Did D check with his sister and her husband (best man) about their accommodations? Of course not! Guess where they not only were planning on staying but actually did? OUR HOUSE – and in the bedroom we thought we would be using on our wedding night! So, on this cold mid-April night we went upstairs to a frigid wedding bedroom (it’s only heat was from a gas fireplace, but we didn’t know anyone would be needing this room so D had not lit the fireplace). Thank goodness for body heat!

We’re off to quite a start to our wedded bliss – stay tuned for more “faux pas” as our marriage continues….~~K